


absence makes the heart grow fonder

by muhammie



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Is that a thing, M/M, chan is away and sehyoon is sad about it, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 18:06:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18145607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muhammie/pseuds/muhammie
Summary: sehyoon doesn't know what is missing. doesn't know why he feels like this. he's always so content, always so sure with himself then what is this restless being in his heart. when it clicks.oh no.





	absence makes the heart grow fonder

**Author's Note:**

> the amount of a.c.e fics i have trashed and never finished,,,, 
> 
> i love sehchan a lot and they dont get enough appreciation so i'm here to change that and, yes. 
> 
> this is still my first time finishing a fic with my favorite boys so please dont judge me thank u

being an idol, it’s a lonely job. being a trainee, it’s even lonelier. no one to talk to, always in constant competition with everyone else just so you don’t get kicked out, the only people you see on the daily are your trainers and your fitness coach, if your company can even afford one. can’t go home for chuseok, can’t go home for new years, you barely remember your childhood room anymore. you live in the same tiny room, go to the same dance studio with the mirrored walls and speakers so loud that the bass thrums in your chest. the anxiousness to debut, the fear that you might actually never debut. watching people you started training with debut before you. it’s a lot being a trainee. 

sehyoon was no different from your typical trainee. luckily, he made friends. friends that said, if you’re leaving this company? well, then, so am i. he found donghun and junhee. they helped him grow and he helped them in various ways, too. singing together, dancing together, eating together, they created a special bond. soon, they met byeongkwan and yuchan. 

if you asked sehyoon about first impressions, he wouldn’t be able to tell you much about any of the boys except yuchan. because yuchan is just the kind of person who imprinted himself in sehyoon’s life without him even knowing. sehyoon’s brain categorized him as a heavenly being and then never tried to interact with him ever again.

funnily enough, he had to, because it wasn’t like all of them were meant to be best friends, they didn’t even know if they could ever even be in the same group. they just instinctively got closer, relishing in the similarities and the desperation to debut. 

so when you have a ceo that drops out of her own big company, creates a new company just for you and then scouts the same four boys you’ve gotten closer to in the previous years, you can only think one thing. sehyoon thought maybe they could actually make it, they could actually debut. 

/

sehyoon has liked chan through the years, through the many seasons. liked him predebut when his hair was in blonde curly tufts and he loved to crack jokes just so he could hear sehyoon laugh loudly, anything to get him out of his guarded shell. liked that whenever they stood together with sehyoon’s raven hair and often stoic face and chan’s blonde hair and his huge grins, they always looked like polar opposites but also like they were meant to be together. 

liked that sometimes when they took selcas together, he would pucker his lips way too much, a full on pout and sehyoon would not be able to resist the chuckle that leaves his lips accompanied by chan’s whining to just take the picture. sehyoon liked chan’s voice. liked it a lot. 

liked listening to it in practice, liked listening to it in their dorms, liked listening to it when they would go outside for busking, soft but powerful through the speakers. and sometimes when they would go out for busking, chan would unconsciously cling to sehyoon and it would instantly make his performance ten times better. liked that chan didn’t mind that sehyoon was quiet because he always knew that he was listening and talked about his hometown, talked about dance practice, talked about the many concerts that they could have once they debuted. 

it was wishful thinking but it was exactly why sehyoon liked chan. he was like a wish come true, a dream that came to life. 

sehyoon liked chan during cactus era. liked that he could finally debut with him. liked that the pink tips of his hair would match his cheeks flushed from the thrill of being on stage. liked his big grin that never disappeared even if the debut was way more stressful than they had ever imagined. liked the way chan always complimented sehyoon's thighs and would subconsciously squeeze them to emphasize his point. liked that he was joyous in interviews no matter the strain the schedule placed on him. liked that he always the mood maker. liked that he always kept everyone happy. 

sehyoon liked chan through calling era, too, surprising, right? liked that all the boys were getting even closer. liked that they came back with music they were proud of. music they worked hard for. liked that they were getting even more opportunities. liked that sometimes at an airport when they were waiting in line, chan would rest his head on sehyoon’s shoulder. liked that sometimes all they had to do was look at each other and both of them would let out chuckles muffled by face masks and eye crinkles appearing out of sheer joy. because sehyoon only felt happiness with chan. 

sehyoon liked that they were all given chances to showcase their talents to the korean public via the idol survival shows. what he didn’t like was the separation.

/ 

‘’and the ninth member to debut,’’ sehyoon hears the announcer’s voice through the television screen. he holds his breath. the people on stage in the unit hold their breath. donghun and byeongkwan, who sehyoon is with right now, hold their breath. ‘’kang yuchan!’’ 

the audience roars. byeongkwan screams. donghun smashes the soju bottle in his hand to the floor. then screams. junhee is crying on screen. sehyoon is just there, stunned. he can’t believe this is happening. his phone on the table is ringing with their ceo’s number. it would be impolite to not pick up but he literally cannot move right now. thankfully, byeongkwan picks up and screams into the phone. he can hear his ceo laughing loudly from the speaker of the phone. 

‘’sehyoon, he made it!’’ donghun shrieks in his ear as he wraps an arm around sehyoon, dragging him to his chest. sehyoon wants to cry. instead, he lets out a shaky breath and says, 

‘’he did. i’m so proud of him.’’ 

something ugly and akin to loneliness settles in the deepest part of sehyoon’s heart. he promises to never let it show. never let himself be vulnerable. instead he spams chan’s phone with a bunch of hearts and starlight emojis, wishing him the best of luck with unb.

/

a.c.e is still being a.c.e without chan. they have to. for the fans. it’s obvious that they’re all missing chan, sometimes one of them mentions him in a live and then that’s all they talk about for the next ten minutes. it’s gotten so bad that even sehyoon has started talking about his feelings towards chan’s absence even more and how things like photoshoots or mv shooting were so much breezier when chan was here. 

then they released 5tar (incompletion). a sentimental piece for the fans. sehyoon felt like it was more for chan. or maybe it was just sehyoon’s silent plea towards chan. he appreciated that donghun and junhee participated in the song and pride occupies his heart when the song is well received by the fans. 

/ 

**[chan]**  
hyunggg i love ur verse in 5tar   
<3333

 **[sehyoon]**  
thanks, chan (:  
i heard the lyrics for ur part are currently being written? 

**[chan]**   
yeah !!!  
i’m excited

 **[sehyoon]**   
will u be coming to the studio soon then? 

**[chan]**   
ah no ;;;;   
i’ll be sending the audio files from here TT   
will probably only come for the live video shooting 

**[sehyoon]**   
oh. 

**[chan]**   
sorry hyung )):   
i’ll come to hang out properly soon! 

**[sehyoon]**  
it’s okay, chan! work hard!   
i have to go now.   
goodnight! 

**[chan]**   
goodnight, hyung!!   
sleep well! <3 

/ 

there are some nights sehyoon would wake up and the ladder to the attic would be drawn downwards. bleary eyed, sehyoon would slowly and silently climb the steps of the ladder to meet the sight of chan next to the only window in the attic, opened, staring out to the deep blue sky. well, the colours would change. from the naviest of blue to a beautiful deep violet. 

on those nights, sehyoon would sit behind chan who's lost in his thoughts, patiently wait for him to snap out of his trance to notice sehyoon's presence. and then would gently take chan's hand to lead him back into his room and tuck him into bed. 

some days chan would already be asleep and then sehyoon would have to scrounge the apartment for extra pillows to miraculously stuff them under chan's body so he wouldn't wake up too sore. 

those days were rare now that they moved to the new dorm without him. 

/

sehyoon thinks he was happiest on his birthday. surrounded by all the people he loves at han river, a place that holds many memories for him and a.c.e as a whole. midnight was great because he, not only got to celebrate his birthday with choice, but with all of the boys, chan included! sehyoon couldn’t stop holding his hand, now that he had got him he couldn’t let him go. but, sadly, chan still had to go back to his dorms with the promise of celebrating his birthday together later. 

in the morning, he woke up spammed with wishes from eunsuh, had a birthday call with his parents, got dressed in his favourite wow shirt, took the goddamn helmet, and biked down han river. with a sweet surprise of the four boys that came to celebrate. they did a small live before settling down with their food, and simply talking about everything and nothing. chan sat between sehyoon and donghun. they stayed there till the stars were fully twinkling in the sky, the sun had long set. chan was practically snoozing on sehyoon’s shoulder. sehyoon couldn’t keep the grin from his face no matter how hard he tried. he felt like his heart would burst from all the love and happiness in it. 

/

there was a concert. they held it while chan still had some time left with unb but could afford to make it for the concert. sehyoon was possibly going to burst at the seams from all the excitement his body was trying to contain. ten percent of donghun’s eye rolls were directed at him. 

it was a concert and sehyoon was happy. he was ready to perform and he did very well. they performed an unreleased song and there was a move in the choreography where sehyoon and chan ended up looking at each other while dancing and chan grinned at him, even though this song was comparatively sexy and you were required to perform with a smolder at all times. but chan made eye contact with him and the first thing he did was grin so, yeah, okay, sehyoon smiled back. and then didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the song. 

they finished their set, performed 5tar for the first time, had choice sing along, had chan come up on the stage as a surprise, cried a little bit. okay, cried a lot. bowed to choice and made their way backstage. most of the members were rushed to the makeup artists to smoothen out their makeup but chan sat somewhere just to sort out his thoughts and regain his breathing. softly sniffling, trying to wipe his tears. trying to make his skin absorb them so he wouldn’t have to confront all the feelings abode in his heart. 

sehyoon passes a handkerchief as he sits down next to chan. it has suns painted on it courtesy sehyoon. chan laughs a little. 

‘’will you be coming home with us?’’ 

chan can only shake his head. a small, forced smile on his lips. sehyoon thinks he never wants to see chan like this. 

‘’not tonight, hyung.’’ not for a while, sehyoon thinks he means. 

‘’that’s okay.’’ sehyoon can only say back, closes the distance between them, and slings an arm around his shoulders, ‘’don’t overwork yourself, yeah?’’ 

this is all sehyoon can do. 

/

sehyoon liked chan through take me higher era, too. they came back in early june with only four of the members. and with every comeback stage, with every event they performed at, with every interview they did, with every vlive they did, without chan, another arrow shot through sehyoon’s heart. but he couldn’t let it affect him. all of the other members were acting strong, too, so who was sehyoon to be the one to bring them down? 

they say if you can’t confront your feelings, run from them. no one said that but sehyoon had already made himself believe that this was a normal thing. so he packed his backpack for a two day trip and made his way to gwangju. to be honest, it didn’t do shit. only made him miss the rest of the boys even more so he came to a clarity and made his way back to his home. 

sehyoon doesn’t know if he want to let these feelings go, he also doesn’t know if they can help him anyway. but often times, you can’t help how you are. so sehyoon sucks it up and thinks, it’s fine. he’ll let time do his thing and let these feelings fade with the ticking clock. 

/

sehyoon’s feelings did not fade at all. 

they actually kept getting worse and worse until to the point where sehyoon couldn’t even look directly at chan smiling without feeling this overwhelming urge to tackle him to the ground. out of love, of course. 

it was one of those weekends where chan had slipped away from his dorms and was planning on staying the weekend with a.c.e. like a weekend long sleepover. everyone was positively excited having chan come back! junhee checked everything, like, three times before his arrival and donghun basically threw himself on chan as soon as he entered the dorm, byeongkwan following. sehyoon patiently waited for his own turn until chan directed his huge, sunny grin towards him and hugged him. 

‘’missed you.’’ chan whispers in his ear. sehyoon is very close to crying. donghun is already crying. 

‘’missed you, too. so much.’’ sehyoon whispered back and can hear chan try to stifle a little giggle. 

/

night rolls around and they’re all pretty much excited, chan being the most as he basically lead all of the conversations today with his experiences with unb. sehyoon thinks his group is like, lowkey, in love with feeldog. all of them. 

it was now time to decide who chan sleeps with. 

"channie's gonna be sleeping with me cause i missed him the most," donghun smirks, tugging chan to fall on the couch next to him. junhee frowns. 

"that's not fair, we all missed chan a lot!" 

byeongkwan interrupts the argument ready to take place, "let's do rock paper scissors, winner gets to have chan sleep in his bed!" 

while all of the hyungs agree to the negotiation method, chan only laughs from the couch. first rock paper scissors round, donghun is the first to lose. second one, byeongkwan loses. so now it's all up to junhee and sehyoon.

byeongkwan pokes chan's shoulder, "who do you want to win?" 

"either one is good for me!" chan grins, but his eyes end up lingering on sehyoon. donghun grins from beside chan, watching his gaze land on sehyoon and rest there. 

the tension between sehyoon and junhee is palpable as both of them make intense eye contact. 

"rock!"

"paper!"

"scissors!" 

"shoot!"

sehyoon wins. paper to rock. junhee falls on the ground with a wounded moan. wailing at his loss. donghun kicks his stomach, lightly. sehyoon grins and tugs chan from the couch, chan is also grinning widely, they both hug.

and chan decides he kind of just wants to stay in sehyoon's arms forever. but that’s stupid. and sappy. and they’re bros so he quickly retracts himself from sehyoon and just pats his shoulder. he gets a confused glance from sehyoon but chan only clears his throat and leaves the room, claiming to go wash up. 

when he looks at himself in mirror, he’s flushed pink. chan can only laugh at himself. ah, he’s so fucked. 

/

"oh no, are you getting taller?" is the only thing sehyoon can say as yuchan leaves his and donghun's bathroom in only boxers and an oversized hoodie, slightly ruffling his damp hair. it's all too much for sehyoon, actually, the sight of a soft and cuddly chan. and he's not even wearing pants. wow. and now they have to sleep together. 

in the same bed. 

yeah, sehyoon's totally fine, why do you ask? 

‘’it’s only been a month, hyung,’’ chan giggles as he sits on the bed next to sehyoon, phone clasped tightly in his hand.

‘’soon, you’re gonna get way taller than us and what will we do then?’’ sehyoon pouts, shifting so chan can sit down comfortably on the bed. chan only shifts closer, their knees touching as they both sit criss cross. 

‘’what will you do?’’ chan’s looking directly at sehyoon and it’s all a bit too much. he’s so close, sehyoon can see all the beautiful details and intricacies of his face, yeah, sometimes it’s not fair by how pretty chan is. sehyoon can feel his ears heating up at the fact that he was probably so obviously just staring at chan. 

‘’i don’t really know. will probably have to start wearing platforms.’’ 

sehyoon expects chan to giggle, maybe laugh, but it seems like chan is also staring at sehyoon, lost deep in thought. 

‘’hey, hyung?’’ 

‘’hmm?’’

‘’what would you say if i said i like you?’’

sehyoon blinks, wait. not in a million years did he expect this. 

‘’huh?’’ 

chan instantly flushes red and splutters, ‘’nothing, hyung! nothing at all! should i turn off the light? i also need to put my phone on charging.’’ 

and before chan can make any moves to leave the bed, sehyoon finally gains control of his mind and clasps his hand around chan’s wrist. chan stops instantly. and reluctantly looks back at sehyoon who’s only smiling softly. 

‘’come closer.’’ 

chan breathes out softly, ‘’why?’’ 

sehyoon pouts, ‘’just come.’’ 

so chan comes closer, their knees are touching again and sehyoon lowers his face, their nose almost touching. chan has to go cross eyed just to notice that. 

‘’this okay?‘’ sehyoon murmurs and chan is only conscious enough to nod back. it’s a soft press of lips, that’s all it is. chaste and not enough but chan’s pretty sure he would combust if anything more were to happen. by the looks of sehyoon, it feels like the feeling is mutual. 

‘’you didn’t answer my question.’’ 

sehyoon chuckles, ‘’i replied with a kiss.’’ 

‘’but those are not words.’’ chan pouts. 

‘’better than words, though?’’ sehyoon grins. his blush is still ever so evident and chan has never been more infatuated with someone. he feels his heart burst open in his chest with love. 

‘’i don’t know,’’ chan pretends like he’s pondering, he hums, ‘’i don’t have enough evidence yet.’’ 

sehyoon only laughs as he pulls chan back in for another kiss. 

/

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> if you like it, let me know! 
> 
> ♡


End file.
